How To Stop Being Afraid of Change

My family and I are thinking of moving to Nashville. This really isn’t something we all want to do, but it’s a move that we are feeling called to do. There are a million reasons why moving to this beautiful town makes sense. We could go from five schools to two. We would have way more options for a thriving church. Even the cost of living would go down. There are so many benefits.

But here’s the truth: we don’t want to move.

And the more I feel that God is calling us to pick up our lives and leave, the more I am trying to figure out the “why” behind it.

Why am I resisting change even when I know it’s good for me?

There are three reasons that come to mind when I stop and slow down to take personal inventory:

I am scared of the unknown. I don’t have the neighborhood picked out, so it’s difficult for me to imagine our new home. And what about our friendships? The introvert in me cringes at the idea of having to open up to new people.

I am comfortable where I’m at. I remodeled my home and it’s full of memories. The other day I was walking the dog through the neighborhood and enjoying the palm trees, the beach, and the birds. Chances are, if we move, it will be painful. There will be tears – for me and my kids. It’s going to be difficult and guaranteed to not be easy. Even though I know the location where we are is not the best life for us – it’s what I’m familiar with and that means it’s comfortable.

I don’t want to take a chance on something new. I get things wrong all the time. What if this move is the wrong move? What if we go there and are miserable? What if this calling I’m feeling is bad judgment on my part? I would have made a terrible mistake. And my family would have to suffer.

And as I was thinking through my personal dilemma, I thought of you (because I am always thinking of you).

There is one thing I know for sure: where I am now doesn’t feel right. It may feel convenient and it may be familiar, but it’s not my best. And I have a feeling that the whisper I hear about moving is God offering us the best.

Sometimes, the hardest things we need to do are necessary, even when we don’t understand what we’ll get when we do them.

I can’t imagine my happy life in another town today. But I know that staying where I am is not the long-term answer.  

It’s so much harder to make changes and move forward when you can’t guarantee the outcome. That’s why we stay stuck in our situations.

So just for today, we are taking it one step at a time. I’m not putting the house up for sale just yet (no need to get dramatic). I will just keep doing the next best choice. We went to visit and took the kids. Next, we toured schools. Now, we’ve applied and are waiting. One small step at a time.

I could easily work myself up by thinking of the next ten things that may or may not happen. But when I go to that place and start to feel anxious and panicky, I shut it down. No need to waste energy on things I can’t control. And, as I learned during my divorce, answers will appear at the perfect moment. I just need to focus on completing the next task in front of me.

Moving forward requires taking chances and trying new things. It may not mean that we physically move. It might require us to say, “No, thank you,” or to say, “Enough – no more,” or, “Yes, please.”

Here’s the bottom line: if we’re not happy with areas in our lives, we cannot expect change until we’re willing to get uncomfortable.

What do you feel you’re being called to do that you’ve been putting off? Have you been like me: too afraid of change, so you’re settling and making the best out of what’s less-than-best?

Are you comfortable in your suffering? Has being married to a good person who drinks too much or is addicted to drugs become your excuse for not fighting for your future?  

Are you waiting for your partner to get sober so your life can get better?  

There is no judgment here. We are sisters and we are in this together, no matter what stage we’re in.

If you’re ready to commit to your healing – join one of our programs and let’s get started. They are full of REAL tips (and not a lot of fluff) that you can start using immediately.