Hey there everyone. It’s Michelle Lisa Anderson. Thank you for making time for me today. I am so honored to be in your ear and in your heart. I take this job very seriously.
We have a quiet and small, mighty team that works behind the scenes to make sure that we are serving you, and we are meeting your needs.
If you haven’t checked us out, and you’ve just been listening to the podcasts, or you just found us, go to LoveOverAddiction.com, and you will find tons of free helpful information as well as courses that we have that can really be life-changing for you.
You’ll have lifetime access, and you can do them in the privacy of your own home. There are no meetings to attend.
But if you’re looking for a connection (aren’t we all), you can join our secret Facebook group. You get an invitation once you join our programs, and that’s free access where there are thousands of us all supporting and encouraging and loving on one another.
We try very hard to make it a place that is not depressing, and we definitely don’t put up with judgment in there. It’s a really loving, wonderful, safe spot for our sisterhood that is growing leaps and bounds.
Today I wanted to talk to you about a really personal issue to my heart. And I’m going to try to make this super quick, although I say that every time, and I’m not sure I’m successful at that lately. But we’re going to try this time, ok?
So the topic of medication came up in the secret Facebook group, and I just had to jump on a podcast and record this because it’s one of the topics I am passionate about. Most of you know that I was married to a wonderful man—super talented, really good looking, funny to the core.
And he was much smarter than I was. He had so many gifts. And I really struggled when I was madly in love with this man and tried everything I could possibly do to get him sober. Of course, none of it worked which is the sad truth about loving somebody with addiction.
But during the time I was married to him, I found myself very depressed. I was a very bubbly, very confident person. But addiction steals your joy, and it beats you down, and it takes all your vulnerabilities, all your shame—everything that you feel insecure about—and it shines a spotlight on them. It harps on them, and it uses them against you because addiction is just awful like that.
I started to feel really depressed. I started to feel very anxious. The whole thing about being married to somebody who constantly places drugs or pornography or gambling or alcohol above you is that it can make you feel very depressed—very unworthy.
And also the unpredictability of loving somebody when you don’t know if they’re going to be high or drunk or go off the wagon can make you feel anxious.
You’re constantly waiting for that other shoe to drop. That is a place of tension we live in most hours of the day because addiction becomes our obsession. It becomes one of the only things that we think about.
All thoughts that lead back to the road of addiction.
Is the person I love going to get sober? How is my future? What is the future of my kids? What’s the future of my relationship? So that can cause severe anxiety. A lot and more than most people. And so depression and anxiety typically go hand in hand with loving somebody with this disease.
Now, here’s what I want to tell you. First and foremost, there’s no shame in this. Welcome to the club. We understand. We get it fully and completely.
And number two, I really want you to understand that you’re not a victim here. You don’t have to remain stuck in depression and anxiety. Just because you’re feeling that way today doesn’t mean that you’re going to be feeling that way three weeks from now. There are lots of tangible things that you can do.
The obvious things that you can do are prayer, yoga, and meditation. I’ve even heard some people talk about essential oils. I have no idea; I’ve not done that. There is therapy.
You can join the Love Over Addiction program and get into our secret Facebook group. All of those things are very tangible things. Get out there and serve or join a small group.
If you are one of those women I tend to attract into our community who is an action seeker—we have thousands of women from all over the world, and we tend to attract the type of women who are like, “Michelle, just give me the steps. I’m ready to do it. Say the word, and I’m there.”
If you’re that type of woman, which I think you are, and you’ve done all of those things, and you’re still left feeling anxious and depressed, there is no harm and no shame in talking to your doctor about medication.
I think a lot of us feel that there is a stigma around mental health where we feel like we cannot ask for help because it means we are weak or we are not praying enough or we are not capable enough.
And there is no shame in taking medication if it helps you for a season or many seasons of your life.
I did this. I took medication for depression and anxiety for two years. I’m bad with numbers, and I’m bad with times because I’m dyslexic and that’s part of the deal. But it was a while. I remember. And it helped me tremendously. As soon as I was on it, I remember thinking, “Why haven’t I started this earlier?”
And for me, it wasn’t about feeling joyful every day. You get on these meds, and it’s not like you wake up feeling happy and blissful and high all day long. It brings you back to center.
It brings you back to baseline.
That’s what these meds did for me. I was having panic attacks. And I remember sitting on my couch when the very first one that happened to me. I was watching an episode of Friends which shows you how old I am because it had just come out. Netflix had not been invented yet, and I remember thinking, “Why is my heart beating so quickly? Ok, slow it down, slow it down.”
And it was weird. I could breathe, but I felt like I couldn’t catch my next breath if that makes any sense. My hands started sweating. I just could not get it together. And I remember calling my mom because my husband was out on a binge and the kids were asleep. I remember calling my mom and saying, “I don’t know what’s going on here. I’m not sure.”
That’s the thing about panic attacks: sometimes you can actually think clearly. Sometimes you can talk to people, but you just you cant catch that breath. And sometimes panic attacks can be much worse. So that was when I started to notice something clearly was going on, and I needed help.
So this is just a quick podcast today to let you know there is no shame, and we need to stop that way of thinking and get help. You are in a stressful situation. You are in an abnormal relationship with somebody.
Right now, honey, you need to armor up with all the tools that you possibly can.
And if medication is one of those tools that you need, there is absolutely no judgment here.
So if you’re feeling depressed and if you’re feeling anxious, and you’ve tried everything on that list, go talk to your doctor. Make an appointment. Make your mental health a priority. There is no shame in this whatsoever. We are here for you, we love you, and I hope you found this helpful.
Thank you so much for leaving a review. Oh my goodness, my heart is overjoyed when I read them. So if you haven’t, please do so or send me an email. I love hearing from you. My email address Info@LoveOverAddiction.com. Check us out at LoveOverAddiction.com. I’ll talk to you later.