Hey there, it’s Michelle Lisa Anderson, and I was just standing at my kitchen counter. I walked away from my desk for a moment because I was starving.
I hadn’t eaten all day, and it’s 1:40 in the afternoon (which for me is all day). I just realized how funny that statement is. To most people, all day is 6 o’clock, but I love me some food.
So, I’m standing at the counter. And I don’t even want to tell you what I was eating. I’m so awful. I went into the kitchen, and I wanted something savory because I had just eaten something sugary. So I had to balance it out.
I made this lemon pound cake from Barefoot Contessa, and if you know me, you know I’m obsessed with that woman.
I made this for dessert because I love lemon. So I had a couple of bites of that, and then I was like, “No, I want something salty to balance it out.”
So I went into my pantry and grabbed a bag of tortilla chips. I wanted to get some dip, so I made some French Onion dip really quickly. And I’m standing there shoving my face with chips and thinking of you.
I was actually thinking about how important humor is in times like this. So I was thinking about some of the funniest women I know. And one of those women is an author named Jen Hatmaker. She actually has her own podcast.
I am in love with this woman. She came out with a book that really changed my perspective on the importance of friendship with women. It is called For the Love.
And now, I’m telling you what; I sat there in bed crying. Tears ran down my face, and Brian just looked at me, and it was—you gotta get the book.
Don’t walk; run to your bookstore or grab your phone right now, and go to the Amazon app, and get the book. It’s called For the Love. You will be in tears. There are these sticky note chapters, and they are to die for.
But I was thinking about her because I recently went hear her speak. I saw her ad pop up on Facebook, and it was only 30 or 40 minutes away from me, so I thought, “okay, I’m going to grab my girlfriends and go.” One of my girlfriends loves her and has read all her books. She highlights and takes notes. She is a serious student.
The other one of my friends is not. Not because she doesn’t particularly disagree or not with Jen. It’s just that she doesn’t read. She is my friend who is absolutely brilliant and wise and reads no self-help books at all. She does no documentaries, no googling, no books.
And I told her the other day that I had a podcast, which I know is crazy because she is one of my best friends, but I don’t typically talk about my business a lot with my friends.
So I said, “Yeah, I have a podcast, and on my podcast, we’re talking about this.” And she says, “You have a podcast? Which channel is it? How do I watch it?” She is just such a funny, wonderful woman who has no clue.
So we all go to this conference, and we’re so excited to see Jen. She did not disappoint, y’all. Let me just tell you.
You know it’s a good speaker when you walk away, and you can recite at least three things that they said.
You know that’s good, because how many times have you gone to these things and you don’t remember anything? You remember what they were wearing or what you were wearing, or what you ate during the break. But you don’t remember what they actually said. Well, Jen is one of those people who speaks, and you listen, and you remember.
The funniest thing she said the whole night, and the thing that reigns through to me so much, is: “I’ve been trying my whole life to be precious.” And it just hit a chord with me because I remember thinking, “I have never been described by anybody that I know of as precious.”
I think I look like I would be precious. If you were to see me in the mall, you would think, “Oh, she looks precious.” And then I would open my mouth, and you would realize real quickly that I am the furthest thing from somebody who would be called precious.
But anyway, when she said that, I thought, “Yeah, that’s so funny.” And then it got me thinking as I was standing there this afternoon still eating my chips. I was thinking all about Jen Hatmaker and how I actually was a little bit of a stalker because during the breaks when she was talking, I would be telling my friends all about her.
For example, she was talking about a time in her life that was really difficult, and I turned to my friends, and I was like, “Oh yeah, that’s when she went on her boat, and she got her magazine and a glass of wine, and she was just all by herself. And her friend came to join her, and she was real disappointed.”
I did this for almost every story that she told. And I realized that this is kind of creepy and that I might actually have a problem. How do I know all this information about her? I’m not sure. I think it’s from Instagram.
But if you know me, I’m not a social media person. I am the worst of the worst when it comes to posting. I have people do it for me because I turn on my phone, and I go to Instagram, and I’m like, “Oh, I’m going to post this picture.”
But for some reason, when I go to post something, it’s me. It’s a camera; it’s accessing my face. And I’m just like, first of all, I thought I looked good today. But I don’t, clearly, and that is scary. Why can I not get this to pull up my picture?
What is my point? We’re 7 minutes into this, and I still haven’t got to the point. And how the heck does this pertain to addiction, you wonder? Please do not unsubscribe.
The point is that we need humor in our life.
So often it can get so serious so fast, right? You’re dealing with the stress and the chaos and the dysfunction and the yuckiness of it all, and you’ve got to surround yourself with funny people.
Now, when I was married to an alcoholic and substance abuser, I did not have any friends because I was always so concerned about my husband and my children.
I kind of wrote everybody else off. And I was afraid to leave the house because—God forbid—what would I come home to? Who would look after the children? Who would monitor his drugs or his drinking?
So I had no friends. You know who my friends were during that time? My friends were Oprah—Oprah Winfrey who was like, my true BFF. I did not have her phone number, but I watched her every single day while I was vacuuming.
And my other group of friends was the Golden Girls.
And between those ladies, I swear they carried me through that divorce.
Oprah is a funny woman. And not only was she funny, but she brought on some of wisest guests that really pertained to the pain that I was suffering and struggling with.
So I watched Oprah, and then the Golden Girls made me laugh. I still love the Golden Girls. I could recite the theme song for you right now, but I will spare you. But I remember being at Disney. This was about a month ago. It wasn’t even that long ago.
And there was a guy who was walking in Epcot. He was walking in England (you know—because Epcot has all the different countries), and he had a white t-shirt on with black font saying, “Dorothy, Rose, Sophia, Blanche.”
And I don’t know what came over me. I have no idea, and he probably thought I was the weirdest human being in the world, but I just took my kids and b-lined to him and said ‘the Golden Girls! They saved me during my divorce. I love them!” We hugged, y’all! We hugged.
We had a moment. In Epcot. In England. Hugging over the golden girls. So that’s how strong a connection I feel towards those women.
So what I am trying to say is read books that are funny. Watch movies or tv shows that make you laugh. Go out and spend some money on things that give you joy and humor in your life because we have to loosen up.
We have to laugh during our recovery.
It is all too serious and all too intense too much. So go on out there and get Jen Hatmaker’s book.
You can get all the Golden Girl episodes on DVD or Apple TV. And if Golden Girls is not your thing, there are some great movies out there. But tonight make it a point. Go on out there and surround yourself with people who are funny and that bring you joy.
I hope you found this helpful. And I will talk to you next week. Don’t forget to subscribe to this podcast if this is your first time listening so that free episodes can come to your phone or your device every Monday. I’ll talk to you later. Have a great week.