Episode 105: 3 Tips For Communicating Boundaries To Your Partner Suffering From Addiction

Boundaries. We all need them. Every woman walking this earth should know her boundaries and understand how to enforce them because boundaries make us strong, powerful, and respected. But many of us get this very necessary skill wrong. And communicating boundaries can be a difficult skill to master.

In the Love Over Boundaries program, we unpack everything you need to know about boundaries. So if you are struggling with how to figure out what healthy boundaries you need in your life, this is the program for you.

Today, we’re going to touch very briefly on how to communicate boundaries.x In the program, we offer you specific sentences you can use, but when and how you deliver your boundaries are just as important.

3 tips for communicating your boundaries:

    1. Say them briefly. Once you’ve identified your boundary, state it quickly. One or two sentences is all you need. No monologues or drawn out explanations or apologies. Quick. To the point.
    1. Practice saying them in the bathroom mirror, in the car, or during a walk (yes, you might look a little crazy for talking to yourself in public, but hey, a woman has to do what a woman has to do).
  1. Stop caring about other people’s reactions. It’s not your job to make sure they are okay with your boundary. If they get upset with you, they were not your people to begin with. Don’t be afraid to ruffle feathers. Or be afraid, but do it anyways. You know how you’re going to stop being fearful of upsetting people with your new boundaries? By practicing them over and over again.

I have a girlfriend who asked me to go with her for a girls’ night out. I said “yes!” and added it to my Google calendar. I love this friend (she’s the fun, outgoing, crazy one of the group), but she also invited someone who I think is abusing prescription pills. You know those people who push all your buttons? This person pushes mine every time I’m around them. I don’t feel comfortable.

I’d rather be at home with my kids and hubby than a girls’ night where I would be trying to avoid this person.

I knew my friend’s feelings would be hurt if I didn’t go. I also knew she was counting on me. But, I backed out. Because I am not going to compromise myself. My time is valuable. I offered to meet her for breakfast the following week (something I try very hard not to do because it takes away from my work day) because I wanted to show her she’s important to me, and I am making her a priority.

She was hurt, and she was upset. But I stood my ground. I didn’t fall over myself apologizing. And you want to know what she said? My friend told me, “Michelle, I am disappointed, but you have such good boundaries. I really respect that about you.”

Here’s the truth: if we are not the biggest advocates of our time, money, and values, who will be?

You CAN become so good at communicating boundaries with your partner, children, boss, and friends. It takes practice. And remember, perfection is not the goal. You’re going to get it wrong. Lord knows I have so many, many, many (is that enough many’s?) times. But keep making an effort. I can’t tell you how important this skill is in life. We’re here cheering you on!

Are you ready to take your healing to the next level?

Love Over Addiction is here for you.

Join thousands of women, just like you today.

Love Over Addiction is a private self-study recovery program just for women who love someone who drinks too much or suffers from substance use disorder.

You May Also Like These Favorite Posts

Episode 131: How Cleaning Your House and Addiction Are Related

Cleaning House

Cleaning. Organizing. Decluttering. These are three words that helped me when I loved someone suffering from addiction. Around midnight, when he promised to come home after work, but the front door still had not opened, I peeked into my children’s rooms to see them sleeping peacefully. I took a few more steps down the hallway…

Episode 130: Practical Tips When Your Partner Drinks Too Much

St. Patty's Day

We are a sisterhood bonded together by the fact that we love a good person that suffers from addiction. We all know that holidays (including St. Patrick’s Day) can be hard. Any small holiday can be the perfect excuse for your loved one to drink more, smoke more, use more, or do whatever it is…

Episode 129: A Celebration Of Women Who Love Someone Suffering From Addiction

I loved the man. But not the addiction. I consider them two separate entities. Separating the one I loved from the addiction helped me enter forgiveness long enough to melt my heart. Addiction was the third party in our marriage. It made me feel like I shouldn’t speak up. Like I shouldn’t stand up. Addiction…