Feeling Guilty Can Be A Good Sign When You Love Someone Suffering From Addiction

Feeling Guilty Can Be A Good Sign When You Love Someone Suffering From Addiction

Weren’t we all taught that feeling guilty was a bad sign? I certainly was. But hear me out, feeling guilty can be a really good sign when we love someone suffering from addiction.

Feeling guilty can be a good sign for you…

A few weeks ago, I talked about anger. And why it appears in our lives. 

I said that anger served as a warning sign that something isn’t quite right.

It’s a call to action for change, and even though the calling might seem scary, if we want to feel better, it’s not about them getting sober it’s about rising to our purpose. 

It’s about changing ourselves if they get sober or not. 

Only then, once we have used the opportunity of addiction to become our very best version, will we find the freedom and joy we’re desperately looking for. 

What happens when our choices impact our relationship?

But what happens when we do the work and make the difficult choices that will affect our relationship with our loved ones? 

We feel guilty. 

You may feel that you’re abandoning them or causing them to drink or use drugs even more.

You may feel, in some way, responsible for their recovery. There are a dozen reasons why we allow feelings of guilt to keep us stuck in our pain.

It could be because we’re too afraid to make our wants and needs important. 

Maybe it’s because we’re scared to upset the ones we love. Being liked by other people is more important than loving and respecting ourselves. 

It could be because we’ve allowed addiction to manipulate and intimidate us for so long, defending it would be to stand up to addiction and therefore standing up for ourselves. 

Or maybe we just like to hide behind their addiction. It’s super convenient to place all the blame for our unhappiness on someone else, making us the victim and handing our power over to somebody else.

Here’s advice if you’re feeling guilty.

Whatever your reasons are for feeling guilty, here’s my advice and it is super simple: Even if you feel guilty, do it anyways. 

Push through. Guilt is an indicator that you’re making hard, necessary decisions.

Now obviously that statement doesn’t apply to narcissists or self-centered people, but you, my love, are the opposite of self-centered. 

You’re a giver, and it’s time to start keeping to yourself. 

So to recap, anger is a calling that we need to take action. 

Guilt is a sign that we are rising to the occasion and making tough choices with our loved ones who are suffering from addiction. 

Both emotions are good. Both are gifts. Feelings of guilt and anger are opportunities. 

Are you ready to rise to the occasion? 

You’ve got me, and you’ve got our entire community right behind you. 

Join us in one of our programs, and I promise this is your safe spot. 

You will be so relieved when you realize you are not alone.

I love you, and I’m here for you. Always, always, and forever.

Why do people feel guilty?

The most common reason is if they actually did something wrong. They may have also done something that broke their own personal boundaries or compromised their morals.

So people, especially those that have codependent tendencies, take on other people’s feelings and emotions, including feelings of guilt.

Do alcoholics have feelings?

Yes, people suffering from addiction do have feelings. Depending on their substances of choice and level of intoxication, those feelings may be skewed or misunderstood by the person.

How do I stop feeling guilty?

You can stop magnifying the event and try to remain grounded. You can process the feelings that come up when you think about the event you’re feeling guilty for.
You can work on letting go those feelings through mantras, sitting with your feelings, and/or verbally processing with a therapist or journalling.

Michelle Anderson

Michelle Anderson

Michelle Anderson has over 10 years of personal experience with loving someone who suffers from addiction. She was married to a good man who suffered from addiction to alcohol, illegal drugs, and pornography. She's used her experience to create powerful resources for women in the same circumstance. Using her own personal experience, combined with years of research and studying, she presents ideas, tips, and tools on how to handle this disease, and take care of yourself, and your family.

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