Halloween Warning for Women Who Love an Alcoholic

Halloween Warning for Women Who Love an Alcoholic

Loving a man who drinks too much or suffers from addiction can be hard 365 days a year. But on some days, it’s more difficult. This year on Halloween night I want you to be prepared for a lot drinking.

When most people are passing out candy and enjoying themselves during the holiday, you might try to make the best of it, but you are left feeling anxious and worried about your partner’s choice to drink or not.

You love them (or at least you love the person you know your loved one can be when they’re sober and happy). But he or she turns into a totally different person after a few drinks.

You feel sick to your stomach when you’ve caught them drinking again.

So, my wonderful and loving friends, how can we as a community of women prepare ourselves for Halloween when we love someone who drinks too much or suffers from substance abuse?

I am going to teach you four different ways you can enjoy Halloween, whether your partner is drinking or not. I wish I had these tools years ago.

1. Have a game plan.

Don’t just pray that your partner will not drink. Don’t get me wrong… praying is a good thing and should always be our FIRST response. But our faith must also include a practical plan. If your partner drinks, are you going to stay home or take a walk around the neighborhood? If he or she leaves you for a party, will you keep your phone on and constantly check for a text from them, or will you turn it off and enjoy the evening? What if you have plans to go out? Do you have the local number for a taxi or have the Uber app in case he or she starts getting out of control and you’re ready to leave? Thinking ahead is the best way you avoid anger or depression.

2. Stay off the roads.

If you can avoid driving that night, please do. The majority of offenders who get a DUI will be high-risk, repeat drunk drivers.  If it can’t be avoided, drive in the slow lane and be extra careful. Also, try to leave for home as early as possible.

3. Be a good example.

Do not drink this evening. A lot of you ask if it’s okay to drink when you’re married to an alcoholic. I know many women who do and many who don’t, but during the holidays there is more pressure to “party” and I want you to be the wiser and more responsible spouse (especially if you have young children) and stick to water or soda for the evening.

4. Compassion, Empathy, and Forgiveness.

It’s the only way to change your heart. Your loved one is feeling a lot of pressure to drink. When everyone else is drinking around him or her, it feels like a candy convention for a diabetic. They’re sick. They didn’t ask for this disease. Try to be grateful that you don’t have to struggle with this addiction.

One of the ways our community is different is that we believe you are NOT powerless over this disease. Look at all the ways you can help your family beat this.  You don’t have to sit back and be taken off guard when your partner makes bad choices.

You can get prepared. Get your expectations set. Set some boundaries ahead of time so you’re not making them up as you go. You know what might happen and you’re a smart woman.

This disease will not take you and your family down.

You have the tools and you are equipped to fight back.

You’re not weak.

You’re not helpless.

You’re not stupid and you’re not guilty.

If he starts to drink on Halloween, you will be prepared. You will know exactly what to do now. You are a survivor.

I believe in you and I am here for you. You are not alone in this.

Michelle Anderson

Michelle Anderson

Michelle Anderson has over 10 years of personal experience with loving someone who suffers from addiction. She was married to a good man who suffered from addiction to alcohol, illegal drugs, and pornography. She's used her experience to create powerful resources for women in the same circumstance. Using her own personal experience, combined with years of research and studying, she presents ideas, tips, and tools on how to handle this disease, and take care of yourself, and your family.

Explore the Love Over Addiction program

Computer, phone and worksheets of Love Over Addiction program

Remember being fun? Laughing? Feeling giddy? Being carefree? Addiction can take all those things away from you and replace them with worry, anxiety, fear, and anger. It doesn’t have to be that way. Discover how to change your life and your relationship today.

Explore the Love Over Addiction: Stay or Go program

Have you ever wondered? Or maybe you know… but you don’t know how. Staying or leaving your relationship is a huge decision. There are questions you need to ask yourself, and ways to prepare no matter what you decide. Find out how to make this decision, even if you’re not ready to make it today.