How To Deal With Anger
How To Deal With Anger
I believe in being gentle, compassionate, and loving with myself and I want you to do the same.
Loving an alcoholic or substance abuser can wreck your self esteem. Your relationship can feel like a roller coaster ride.
Full of highs (when your loved one promises to stop drinking) and lows (when he or she leaves for the bar or comes home with a six pack).
And on top of all that – they blame you.
Are they denying responsibility? Or lashing out and using excuses for their bad choices?
Let me remind you my wonderful friend: you’re not crazy.
You did nothing to cause this disease. You’re a beautiful, loving woman.
If you’re feeling infuriated, like you are coming unglued inside… that’s normal.
If you’re feeling like curling up in a ball on the bathroom floor and crying for hours… that’s normal.
If you deeply love your partner even after he or she has broken your heart for the hundredth time by drinking or using drugs… that’s normal too.
It’s all part of loving a very sick person.
One thing I don’t want you to feel is guilt.
Don’t feel guilty if your partner:
- Rejects you by stopping at the bar instead of coming home to be with you.
- Doesn’t show up at the kid’s soccer game and leaves you cheering for your child alone.
- Snaps at you or is angry
It’s not your fault.
Here’s what to do:
Resist the urge to “let them have it” (do not confront them when they’re angry). Not because you need to respect your partner, but because you need to respect yourself. Keep a quiet mouth and you won’t beat yourself up or feel guilty about your reaction.
Find healing by stepping away from his craziness.
This is hard, I’m not going to lie.
Pray, breathe deeply, go for a walk, or join the Love Over Addiction program and let us encourage you!
You can change your reactions so they reflect the strong and dignified woman you’re becoming.
You’re more courageous than you think. And that’s the truth.
I hope you will join me in one of our programs. You can do them at your own pace, they are private and confidential, and, remember, you need recovery if he gets sober or not.
Michelle Anderson has over 10 years of personal experience with loving someone who suffers from addiction. She was married to a good man who suffered from addiction to alcohol, illegal drugs, and pornography. She's used her experience to create powerful resources for women in the same circumstance. Using her own personal experience, combined with years of research and studying, she presents ideas, tips, and tools on how to handle this disease, and take care of yourself, and your family.
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