A Personal Story – My Alcoholic Ex Husband

My alcoholic ex-husband called last night and said he was dying.  

Five years ago this would have been upsetting news.  But now I just recognize it for what it really is:  a cry for help (he is not really dying) from an alcoholic husband.  I asked him what I could do and he asked me to “just listen.”

He began to sob like a child.  Over the last 10 years he lost multiple jobs, a wife, a long-time live-in girlfriend, two sets of children, and is about to have his electricity turned off because he can’t pay the bills.  He lives amongst filthiness and dysfunction. And even his family refuses to talk to him – too many bridges have been burned.  He is only 38 years old.

“I am all alone, Michelle”.

I did not try to fix him, or condemn him.  There were no words.  I just listened.

“I don’t want to go on living.  My whole life I have been fighting this and I am tired.  I hate being sober because I have to face so many things, but I hate myself when I drink.”

It must be an awful life.  Constantly running away from all the people you have hurt and the pain you feel.  He really needs to hear the forgiveness and mercy that God is so ready to grant him, if he would just surrender.

 

But unfortunately, the bottom of his rock bottom is very, very deep.

 

I told him I would pray for him.  Gave him some updates on the kids and compassionately said goodbye.  It was sad, and it broke my heart a little to hear a man so wounded by his own choices.  My husband walked into the room and asked if everything was ok.

We climbed into bed together and prayed for him.

 

That was my old life.  Drama.  Pain.  Suffering.  Loneliness.  

 

Powerful words that only someone who loves an alcoholic or addict can understand.  I thank God that all it now takes to leave that dysfunctional world behind is hanging up the phone.

My life now is filled with love, laughter and joy.  My children are safe and I am married to a honest man who cherishes us, comes home on time, and is filled with integrity.  I know I would never to be able to appreciate my life today had it not been so awful for so long.

What’s going on with you this week?  Share your story with us, ask a question on reach out to one another.  You are not alone.  We are here to encourage you and cheer you on… don’t forget to subscribe to the newsletter below.

Are you ready to take your healing to the next level?

Love Over Addiction is here for you.

Join thousands of women, just like you today.

Love Over Addiction is a private self-study recovery program just for women who love someone who drinks too much or suffers from substance use disorder.

You May Also Like These Favorite Posts

She’s Staying With Her Husband Suffering From Alcoholism

Dana and me

Today we have a particularly interesting interview for you. Dana is one of my best friends, and has been for over 20 years. We met in college before I was married to a good man that suffered from alcoholism and addiction. She also married a good man that suffers from alcoholism. She’s decided to stay…

How Cleaning Your House and Addiction Are Related

Cleaning House

Cleaning. Organizing. Decluttering. These are three words that helped me when I loved someone suffering from addiction. Around midnight, when he promised to come home after work, but the front door still had not opened, I peeked into my children’s rooms to see them sleeping peacefully. I took a few more steps down the hallway…

Practical Tips When Your Partner Drinks Too Much

St. Patty's Day

We are a sisterhood bonded together by the fact that we love a good person that suffers from addiction. We all know that holidays (including St. Patrick’s Day) can be hard. Any small holiday can be the perfect excuse for your loved one to drink more, smoke more, use more, or do whatever it is…