The Power of Positive Thinking
The Power of Positive Thinking
Today is all about the power of positive thinking. Because when we love someone suffering from addiction, it’s easy to get stuck in our thought patterns and our actions.
So today learn some simple steps to influence positive thinking.
Listen to the podcast episode here:
Read the transcript and find more details here:
Before we get started talking about the power of positive thinking, I just want to say a massive thank you to all of the healthcare providers. They’re putting themselves in a really vulnerable position by caring for the ill during this time, and always, but especially now.
You may know we’re a very loving, unique community of people from all over the world.
A lot of us in this community are drawn to healthcare careers because we have codependency behaviors and traits.
We love to help and heal others, so it’s a very natural choice. And in our community we have a ton of nurses. We have doctors, we have psychologists, we have teachers.
Women and men who really take deep enjoyment and gratification from helping others. We just want to recognize you because we know you are out there and we’re so incredibly grateful for all of your hard work and your courage and your fortitude to get us through this time.
Today we’re going to talk about two different tools for positive thinking.
And here’s the deal: I’m not gonna lie to you. I’m not going to dress it up.
What I’m about to tell you on today’s episode, you’ve probably heard before, it’s nothing new.
In fact, anyone that’s kind of in the self-help industry has probably spoken about the tools I’m about to speak about.
Positive Thinking: This first tool is three simple steps
I was reminded of this tool because I’m in therapy. And therapy can be amazing when you find the right therapist. So if you can, I’d highly recommend seeking someone out. Be sure to find the right professional for yourself though. That’s really important.
I knew I loved her right away because she pulled out a white board. And you know that I’m action-oriented. A lot of us are in this community. That’s probably why you were attracted to us in the first place, because we don’t just talk about feelings and emotions, but we actually give you something to work on with them.
So my therapist pulled out a white board and wrote down three words: think, believe, act. She said that these three words dictate our direction.
Positive thinking: think, believe, act
So in other words, the stories that you’re telling yourself are actually reinforcing your beliefs about your life. And that those beliefs are causing you to act in a certain way.
Let’s break this down into something that pertains to you and your life right now. You’re in love with someone struggling with addiction and you might think that you are not worth getting sober for.
The story you’re telling yourself is that if you just behaved better, if you just did something better, if you were good enough, they would get sober.
You think that, and so that’s the story you’re telling yourself.
What you believe, what you do, and how you act is that you go around spending your days, hours, months, weeks, trying to behave better.
Trying to be worthy of their attention, trying to make them see you and just how special you are. Just how perfect and wonderful of a relationship you would have with them if they just got sober.
The origin of the dysfunction is that it goes all the way back to your thinking. Your story that you’re telling yourself is wrong and therefore your beliefs are incorrect and your behavior is detrimental and harmful to you.
We have to take it all the way back to what we allow ourselves to think. We have to capture every thought that comes into our mind and take self-inventory and ask ourselves, is that the truth?
Is that really, really what we should be thinking?
Because it’s not complicated, right?
Here’s an example: I used to believe that if the house was just kept cleaner and more in order, he’d want to stay at home more, and therefore be more likely to get sober.
Now, I know. That’s silly.
Remember that we don’t do judgment in this community, okay?
So that was what I thought. My belief was that I wasn’t keeping the house up to his standards, and that was contributing to his drinking problem. My action was that I’d spend a lot of time cleaning, straightening, and organizing every little thing.
Before he’d come home at night I’d run around the house like crazy picking up after the kids and tossing things in closets and drawers to get them out of site.
My thoughts were wrong from the very beginning. Of course, his alcoholic and addicted behavior had nothing to do with the clean house or not.
The house could be perfect or a disaster. That didn’t matter.
If we can stop ourselves at the initial thought and take inventory, we can potentially avoid this cycle of incorrect (and destructive) behavior on our parts.
When it comes to taking self-inventory of these thoughts, remind yourself that you’re in no way responsible for their addiction.
This is one step in the right direction of the power of positive thinking.
We have to capture every thought because if we replace those thoughts with something positive, that’s when our self-esteem grows.
Our healing begins there.
That’s when we become the people we were meant to be. That’s when we start making healthier choices and attracting healthier people into our lives.
You can start this practice today. I want you to notice the thoughts that come to your mind. Just notice them. You don’t have to start to replace them yet.
There’s a lot of power in being present and simply noticing your thoughts as they go by.
Once you get comfortable just being present and noticing them, then you can start to question them. Is it really true?
Remind yourself that in no way, shape, or form are you responsible for their addiction.
No matter what they’ve said to you.
And the second tool I want to talk to you about is taking responsibility for your happiness.
This is also a powerful tool of positive thinking.
And I’ve learned a new practice in taking control of your happiness. It’s really fun! Are you ready?
Use your senses. For example, listening and hearing. Put on music. Make playlists. Find new music. Enjoy what you’re hearing. Open the windows at night.
Smell – candles, oil, flowers, or diffusers. Stimulate your sense of smell in your surroundings.
Find something pretty to look at. Go outside. Find flowers, go to the lake. Clean up and organize your space (if you’re doing it for yourself and no one else). Eat out of pretty plates and bowls. Browse websites for home decor, even if you’re not going to purchase anything right now.
Today I hope you can use one or both of these tools to influence your thinking. Find the power in positive thinking and let it serve you.
You have lots of options to feel better. I hope you don’t feel stuck anymore. I hope you feel empowered.
Michelle Anderson has over 10 years of personal experience with loving someone who suffers from addiction. She was married to a good man who suffered from addiction to alcohol, illegal drugs, and pornography. She's used her experience to create powerful resources for women in the same circumstance. Using her own personal experience, combined with years of research and studying, she presents ideas, tips, and tools on how to handle this disease, and take care of yourself, and your family.
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