Why You Need To Take Care Of Yourself Every Day
Why You Need To Take Care Of Yourself Every Day
In the last episode, we talked about the calling of your life. We talked about leaving. Now, in this episode, we’re going to talk about leaving a little bit more, but you can also apply the tool that I’m about to teach to any part of your life. We’re going to talk about why you need to be taking care of yourself every single day, no matter what may or may not be going on around you.
Listen to the podcast episode here:
Read the episode transcript here + find more below:
And for those of you that are new, here’s the deal: I love talking about feelings. Telling our stories is super important, but I’m the type of woman that I love practical. Give me the how-to steps to get good results, and I’ll follow them.
I’m a rule follower. I want simple, basic steps. I like to know ‘the why’ behind each step. What’s the benefit of these steps? Whatever it may be, I want practical answers to help. That’s what I’m looking for.
And so when I started this community nine years ago, I was constantly looking for steps.
I created this community to include practical tips to help you.
I wanted to know what I could do to help. At first, I thought what I was doing helped my husband. I was wrong. And I soon realized there’s really nothing I could do to help him.
I’ve done everything for him. I’ve tried everything for him. But what can I do to help myself?
What can I do to help my kids who are growing up in a home with addiction?
I couldn’t find any resources.
So I said, okay, that’s it. If I figure out what works, I will spend the rest of my life teaching other women practically what this looks like.
And so here’s an essential tool that I think is necessary and super helpful, and also really practical.
When you’re going through a transition, which could mean you’re in the middle of leaving or you’re in the middle of a separation. Or it could be a different type of transition, for example, right now I’m moving. I’m moving from one house to another.
When you’re in a period of transition, no matter how big or small it may be, you have to take care of yourself every day.
I discovered this when I was divorcing my ex-husband who suffered from addiction.
There was one constant activity in my life that I looked forward to doing every single day.
As I said, I’m moving right now, and it’s stressful. Right now, with all of the stress of moving, there are boxes everywhere. There are lots of to-do lists.
It’s the summertime, so I’ve got a gazillion kids at camps.
It’s pretty stressful.
So every day I look forward to eating a bowl of mint chocolate chip ice cream and watching an episode of Dallas. Now I’m talking about like the old school, 1980s Dallas.
I have never seen it before. For some reason, I came across it, and I am in love. If there are any Dallas fans out there, we need to chat about JR. But that’s not the point. I told my team this, the other day we had a meeting, and I was like, please don’t let me bring up Dallas. If I bring up Dallas in anything that I’m writing or recording, please remind me not to mention it.
And here I go. I just brought it up.
But this is what I look forward to every night. It’s my little reward for getting through the day and doing some tough work. And I discovered that tool while I was divorcing my ex-husband.
Back then it wasn’t Dallas and a bowl of ice cream. It was working on my dream board, working on my vision board and really putting thought and time into visioning and daydreaming, planning out this future, this getting excited about this new future.
There will be seasons of your life.
You can learn the best way to take care of yourself in every season.
There was this season of my life where every evening I would really look forward to taking the dog for a walk with one of my kids.
And I would take a kid that wanted to hang out with me for 30 minutes. We lived in a neighborhood where it was very quiet, and there were a couple of streetlamps, and we would walk down the neighborhood and talk about their day.
And it was just a great way to settle down and check-in with my children. And give the dog some exercise and just relax and take a deep breath.
It just felt really nurturing and good. So that was something that I looked forward to every evening.
The point is maybe for you, it’s exercise or working out. Perhaps for you, it’s organizing a closet. It could be yoga or meditation.
Ask yourself: What is it that you can do to take care of yourself every day?
What’s the one consistent thing that you can offer yourself to do every day? So that you’re rewarding yourself and recognizing yourself for the hard work that you’re doing and giving yourself something to look forward to every day because it’s important?
That’s a form of self-care. It’s a form of taking a pause and saying, “I’ve done a good job.” I’m proud of myself. I worked hard today, and this is going to be fun.
A lot of times, especially with addiction, it’s trauma, it’s chaos, it’s dysfunction, it’s yelling, it’s fear. It’s just so difficult.
And so many people don’t understand what we’re going through.
They think they do, but they don’t have any idea — the level of intensity.
It’s like we’re walking around with frayed nerves, you know? And that moment for me in the evenings was just a moment to relax my nerves, to settle my nervous system down, to get comfortable.
That’s what I want for you.
And is it difficult? Heck yeah.
It’s hard to stop and take care of yourself with addiction going on around you.
Because if it were easy, everybody would be doing it. There’s going to be some days where you think you don’t have the time.
There’s going to be some days where you don’t think you’ve done the work, so you shouldn’t reward yourself. There is going to be a reason why you want to self-sabotage this moment.
So I hope this helps. I want to hear what you’re doing.
Michelle Anderson has over 10 years of personal experience with loving someone who suffers from addiction. She was married to a good man who suffered from addiction to alcohol, illegal drugs, and pornography. She's used her experience to create powerful resources for women in the same circumstance. Using her own personal experience, combined with years of research and studying, she presents ideas, tips, and tools on how to handle this disease, and take care of yourself, and your family.
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