Episode 126: Valentine’s Day With Our Love Over Addiction Sisters
Valentine’s Day is right around the corner. It’s supposed to be a romantic day all about love. But for women like us, we can feel discouraged, alone, and even jealous because our loved one isn’t home celebrating romance with us. Instead, they’re out drinking too much or using with their “friends”.
We have a loving suggestion for you: be your own Valentine. Prepare for the day, dress up, exercise, plant flowers, whatever is “your thing”, girl, do your thang.
Connect with close friends for coffee or a walk. Or maybe take the kiddos out to a fun dinner. Love on yourself and the relationships you have that are worth loving on.
The word self-care is becoming a bit overused, isn’t it? I looked up synonyms and Google suggested personal care, thinking about yourself, self aid, and my personal favorite: self service.
I realize now that self service sounds slightly inappropriate. Can you tell I have too many teenagers in the house? And speaking of teenagers, if I hear the joke “that’s what she said” one more time, I’m walking right out of this house and never returning. For those of you so blessed to not know what I’m referring to, I will allow the comedy geniuses and creators of The Office to explain.)
Listen, we know that Valentine’s Day is right around the corner and wanted to give you some ideas.
My family goes to Hawaii each year and they’ve been asking me to join for over 5 years now. I’m always the one pinching pennies to make up for my loved one’s bad decisions. It’s taken me 2 years, but I’ve stashed away enough money to go! I’m going to enjoy every second without my qualifiers. Yay me!
We’ve been blessed with great weather lately. Every morning and evening I plug in my headset, put on the Love Over Addiction podcast, Oprah, anything empowering, and I walk for about 3 miles. I also just started playing pickleball. I’m loving the fun exercise!
I need to allow myself time to reflect, do yoga, get massages, and do self-care. Especially in times of stress. I need to tell myself I’m doing a good job instead of freaking out about the future.
I hired a trainer to get in shape again. I’ve been going for a year, and I’m strong again. I’m doing push-ups and pull-ups, and I’ve got muscles again (I’m nearly 60). It’s the best money I’ve spent. When I got physically strong, it gave me a sense of added emotional strength. The young girls call me a bad-ass with a good ass because I’m a beast in the gym. 🙂
I am showing myself love by digging a little deeper into my spiritual life. I have tried so hard to fix and steer that I think it is really time to give myself some grace and ask for help.
I’m a Mom, work, and go to school. For me, free time is hard to come by. I decided to treat myself (and my home) to a one-time house cleaner to clean for me. I used to think I had to do everything my myself. Now, I show myself love by recognizing that some things can be let go or can be handled by others (like cleaning).
I feel like there’s always something to be done and I’m always doing busy work. My mom was the same way and still comes over and expects me to do stuff. I have started setting boundaries about that too. I’m setting aside time every day to relax and work on my Love Over Addiction program and devotions. I’m letting people know I’m unavailable. Before I had kids, I would sit and read for hours, so now I need to just make the time to do what I love.
I relax by taking my Mini convertible (her name is Scout BTW) for a spin with the top down.
I recently got ‘Scout’, but was hesitant about the convertible because there is a blind spot on the passenger side, so switching lanes can be scary. But ‘staying in my own lane’ is my new thing thanks to Love Over Addiction. I applied that philosophy and got the convertible and I just stay in my lane and don’t switch around. It keeps me in line on many levels with ‘staying in my own lane’. I also like running.
Smelling beautiful flowers I buy myself bunches from time to time to calm and lift my spirits.
I just took a girls trip with one of my good friends. My husband was supposed to come but because of his outpatient rehab, he was unable to. He got upset because he wanted to take time off and come with me. I told him his recovery needed to come first and I had already made other plans. I’m so glad I did. I felt bad of course, because that’s how I am. I also knew that as strained as things have been between us lately we would argue, fight or just not have the best time. So I decided it was time to do something for ME!! We had an amazing week in Costa Rica. No fighting, just laughing, relaxing and talking. Lots of pep talks to assure me that I need to love myself more and she reminded me I deserve better than I am getting, but never pushed her thoughts on me. Just said you’re not ready to make any changes yet, but when you are you’ll know and be confident in your choices. She reminded me that my codependency isn’t fully allowing my husband to hit his rock bottom which I knew and if I want a different result I have to change my ways too. I am so glad we did this and pray for strength as I continue working on me. It’s so hard to focus on myself but I know I deserve it.
Aren’t these women brilliant? I love hearing their ideas for Valentine’s Day.
They inspire me and make me feel so proud of their hard work. I’m going to start implementing some of their ideas myself. And I hope you found their wisdom insightful, and can do the same.
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